Breaking News: Nobel Prize Awarded to Fetus

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Olso, Norway, October 11, 2009, 9:01 AM ET. Chairman (and former Prime Minister of Norway) Thorbjoern Jagland, speaking on behalf of the Norwegian Nobel Committee, announced the award of this year’s Nobel Prize in Genetics to the love child of American Actors Megan Fox and Robert Buckley.

The announcement, made just 60 seconds after a TMZ story that Ms. Fox was six weeks pregnant and that Mr. Buckley was probably the father, cited the contribution of the Fox-Buckley fetus to the gene pool. “We believe,” so said Chairman Jagland to drooling press of both genders covering the event, “that the child will evolve into a smokin’ hot twenty-something that members of the Committee had already begun fantasizing about.” Sweating profusely, Chairman Jagland, and the four women members of the five person committee, then excused themselves from further comments and interviews, asking for the indulgence of the press while they had some “private time” to reflect on their award.

Neither Ms. Fox nor Mr. Buckley, who are said to be vacationing in Cabo San Lucas, was available for comment.

The Fox-Buckley fetus qualified for the award based on Ms. Fox and Mr. Buckley having met for the first time at a Brentwood (Los Angeles), California Starbucks on January 31 of this year, the day before nominations for the 2009 award were closed.

Recommended reading… “Who is Thorbjoern Jagland?” by Dan Calabrese, writing in the The Northstar National, October 10, 2009


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