Category Archives: News

“Back to you in the studio, Bob.”

Sunday, January 27, 2013

That reporter, the one in the title that’s throwing you back to the studio? It’s Bob. The same Bob that’s throwing you back to the studio. Confusing, I know. I’ll explain in a moment. But first…

Downtown Harrisonburg

For those of you who don’t know me, which is pretty much all of you, this piece may seem like I’m mocking small town life or, heaven forbid you should draw this conclusion, that I’m making fun of Bob. Far from it. Quite to the contrary, this, no kidding, is about journalism at its very best. It’s about the spirit of a free press, about a dedication to keeping the public informed that no amount of big corporate network money can buy. It’s about a young person, a man in this case, working hard and paying his dues. You either have it or you don’t. Bob does, and that’s that.
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Pomp and Hudson Valley Apple Pie

Monday, January 21, 2013, 1:30 PM ET

Ah, the Inauguration. Yet another excuse for our government to do nothing, while spending a great deal of money doing it.

Hands down, the highlight was Kelly Clarkson who was great. If you didn’t hear her rendition of “Of thee I sing,” you can find it on-line. When Senator Chuck Schumer came back to the podium after Ms. Clarkson was done, the first thing he said was, “Wow.” He was right.

Kelly Clarkson at Inauguration

The leaders of our country are at lunch now. See the menu below? (Click on it to make it larger.) Thank goodness that single mother working two jobs to raise her kids, eating her homemade peanut butter and jelly sandwich on the bus, doesn’t have time to watch. Maybe the millions who are still un- and under-employed will catch a glimpse on the screens in store windows on their way to their next interview.


Inaugural Luncheon Menu

Gun Control. The illusion of leadership.

I wasn’t going to write anything about guns. It’s not that I don’t think we need vastly more restrictive gun control legislation, it’s just that I’m still depressed about November’s election. Nothing new. I just can’t get over the fact that, with very few exceptions, we re-elected the same Congress and President that failed to resolve any of the major economic, financial or social crises we’ve been facing. The President is now focusing on his legacy, like any of us really care, and waiting for the economy to recover on its own so he can take credit for it. Bummer.


Okay, about guns. In the wake of Newtown, the President threw his best agent at the problem, Joe Biden. Mr. Biden talked to all sorts of people over a very short period of time. He did that to give us the impression that our input counts. It’s a trick. If Vice President Biden and the President were serious about gun control, they would have been working on the problem non-stop for the past four years. Now, the best they’ve been able to come up with are some recommendations about background checks, assault weapons and limiting high-capacity clips to 10 “rounds.” They call them rounds, because it sounds like we’re ordering more beer at our favorite roadhouse, but we know that what they’re really talking about is bullets. Rounds don’t kill people, bullets do.
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Katherine Webb: The Cheerleader, the Quarterback and ESPN

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Katherine Webb should have been insulted, but she wasn’t. And that’s okay. Far be it from me to tell other people what their sensitivities should be, but… The thing is, I’m a guy and I have something to say on behalf of the other gender.

Katherine Webb Red Dress

Ms. Webb, the reigning Miss Alabama USA, the no-talent version of the Miss America pageant, is beautiful by virtually any standards. Personally, I prefer a slightly less perfect face and body, but that’s me. Notwithstanding my personal opinions of what is and what isn’t attractive, and as they used to say when I was growing up, “No one’s kicking her out of bed.” And that’s not a sexist remark. Back in the day, that was a heck of a compliment, but then times change, don’t they, which is the point of this piece.
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“Anne’s Law.” The Anne Hathaway wardrobe malfunction.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012


Hi. I’m writing this for the Next Contestant, my political blog, because it’s about a law we need to pass, a federal law. No, it has nothing to do with the Fiscal Cliff or other big headline topic. It’s about rights of privacy, for all us, but for celebrities in particular.

Anne Hathaway was on the Today Show this morning promoting the movie “Les Misérables” in which she is starring. Matt Lauer was conducting the interview and asked her about a recent wardrobe malfunction. It was a question to which Ms. Hathaway’s response, as you can see in the Today Show video, was both intelligent and eloquent. (There’s an opening commercial, of course. The portion of the interview I’m talking about begins at the 50 second mark.)
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Breaking News: Israeli agent steals Iranian bomb!

Friday, September 28, 2012.

Despite photographic evidence to the contrary, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, in New York following his dramatic “red line” speech at the United Nations yesterday, denied reports circulating throughout the Middle East to the effect that an Israeli Mossad agent, known only by the code name “Felix,” has stolen a prototype Iranian bomb.

The picture, taken through the lens of a tourist’s souvenir spy glass against the backdrop of the moonlit desert, is considered proof positive that Iranian bomb development is farther along than CIA intelligence has recently reported.

Believing the rumors to be true, western-leaning Arab leaders in the region are saying privately, “Mazel tov!” to Israel for having stolen the device without having to resort to a full-on air attack on Iran’s famed Acme Bomb Factory, widely believed to be the facility where the device was developed.


Kate’s breasts.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

For the record, this piece isn’t meant to be the least bit funny or clever.

I haven’t seen the pictures of Kate Middleton sunbathing. Probably never will. I’ve always assumed she had breasts, although, to be honest, even though I like breasts on women as much as the next guy, I’ve never thought about her in quite that way. In any case, they’re her breasts. Ms. Middleton and her husband seem like good people. Their high-profile lives notwithstanding, I think they have a right to their privacy – as do all the starlets and other notables the paparazzi have chased, embarrassed and otherwise annoyed to those celebrities’ detriment.
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